The Next Chapter Project: Lori Shearn
The Gold Star
By Eva Geisse
The Bay School of San Francisco
Just before she boarded the train to London, Lori’s father placed a small package in her hands, a farewell gift. Lori said goodbye to her father with one last kiss and hug and then boarded the train. Once she was settled in the train carriage, surrounded by strangers, Lori began to tear open the brown wrapping. Inside was a solid gold Jewish star pendant strung on a delicate gold chain. Lori was stunned. Never would her parents allow her to wear such an obvious symbol of their religion around her neck in Vienna. Tears welled in the corners of Lori’s eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. The train jumped to life. Lori quickly rushed to the window, looking out over crowds of waving people, to snatch one last glimpse of her parents. Lori’s tears broke free and ran down her cheeks. Her mother and father were gone, and she was completely alone.
A Viennese Childhood
Lori Beller was born and raised in Vienna, Austria, on Sanetty Strasse, a quaint block of four apartments. Lori lived with her brother, Edward, and her parents, Pincus and Irma. The Beller family was a typical working-class Viennese family. Her father owned a tailor’s accessory store, and her mother helped him run it. Lori was a bright girl and an enthusiastic student, earning a spot at Vienna’s prestigious private girls’ school. Her family belonged to a synagogue, but they were relatively secular. Edward had been Bar Mitzvahed, but the family did not attend services or religious school.
Edward was an avid believer in Zionism, a movement advocating the return of Jews to Palestine, and regularly went to Zionist meetings, with Lori tagging along. One day, Lori looked out her window and saw soldiers wearing strange uniforms and bearing a foreign flag marching through her street, disrupting her usually quiet neighborhood and frightening her. It was March 13, 1938, the day Germany invaded Austria under “Anschluss,” the union of Germany and Austria that allowed Hitler and Nazism to rule in their neighboring country. Soon after, “anti-Semitism bloomed in Vienna” says Lori, and her life was turned upside down.
Anschluss Changes Everything
Lori’s non-Jewish friends began to decline her invitations to play and did not extend ones of their own. Her teachers forced Lori to sit in the back of the room, astounding Lori, a studious girl whose surname—starting with the letter B—should have put her in the front. Eventually, Lori was stripped of the spot she had earned at the private school and was forced to attend a public school specifically created for Jewish girls. She and her friends were tormented by boys on the streets who called themselves “Hitler’s Youth.” They would station themselves outside her school, waiting to harass and occasionally hurt Lori and her friends.
Austrians were a naturally “optimistic people with sunny outlooks on life,” says Lori, and they believed this outburst of anti-Semitism would soon blow over. But after Kristallnacht, which hit Vienna especially hard, their sunny optimism was shadowed with doubt. Lori’s father’s store was destroyed, and she heard stories from her friends about their parents being dragged into the street and taken away, leaving their children utterly alone and terribly afraid. Lori’s parents then decided that it was imperative that they get out of Austria as soon as possible, starting with Lori. Lori’s mother put an ad in a London newspaper, seeking a host family for her daughter in a country miles from home. Miraculously, a family responded to the ad quickly, and Lori’s escape from Vienna was set in motion.
Lori made her way back to her seat, a heavy weight on her chest. For the first time, Lori realized how ominous and hazy her life had become. She had no idea where she was going, whom she would be meeting when she got there, or what would happen. And the biggest worry on Lori’s mind was: when would she see her family again? Suddenly, a man tapped Lori on her shoulder, bringing her back to reality. “They will take that away from you at the border, you know,” he said, pointing at the necklace in Lori’s lap. Lori was confused and distraught. She had no idea what this man meant. What border? Who were “they?” Would they really take away her necklace, the only reminder she had left of her family? Completely alone and at a loss over what to do, Lori grasped her gold star tightly.
Life in London
The Steinbergs, Lori’s host family in London, were a perfect example of an average family: a father and mother; a daughter, Stella; a son in the army; and a simple, normal life, not much different than the one Lori had left behind in Vienna. Lori did the best she could to become a part of her new family with little disruption. She was enrolled in Stella’s school, quickly learned English on her own, and was introduced to the Steinberg’s family and friends. Unlike Lori’s family, the Steinbergs were very observant Jews, and Lori attended weekly synagogue services and observed Shabbat, a new and fascinating experience for her. On September 1, 1939, war was declared, and Lori’s life was once again turned upside down. She remembers the day clearly, sitting beside the radio listening to King George VI’s speech and crying hysterically. It was a moment of harsh realization for Lori; she became conscious of the fact that she might never see her family again. All inner-city London children were ordered to evacuate to the countryside, away from the inevitable bomb raid that would soon begin. The Steinbergs lived outside of London, so Lori and Stella were privately evacuated to a town called Steeple Morden. Families graciously took in the thousands of children, but after two months of evacuation and no bombing raids in London, they were brought back to the city in June.
When Lori first arrived, Stella was thrilled about the idea of a temporary sister, but that excitement soon turned into jealousy. The Steinberg household was hit hard by the outbreak of war, so once Lori arrived back in London, she offered her help whenever she could. Lori says that Stella felt she was “stealing her parent’s love” and resented her for it. Stella’s parents were nothing but kind to Lori, putting her in an uncomfortable position. Lori was eventually forced to move into the maid’s room, making her feel even more isolated and alone. As soon as Stella and Lori were back in London, the air raids began, adding to Lori’s emotional and physical stress. Every night the air was filled with sirens, screams, and the sounds of destruction. (Even now, planes like the Blue Angels terrify Lori and bring her back to that time.)
The Steinbergs built a bomb shelter in the garage for themselves to sleep in. In the morning, Lori and Stella would venture outside to see which houses had been destroyed; they would collect bits and pieces of metal, which Lori still possesses to this day. It was disturbing to see homes destroyed, people’s entire lives turned to rubble and dust. Lori had lost all hope of ever seeing her family again.
“I would be happy to carry your necklace across the border for you. I am not Jewish, so the Nazis will not search me for valuables when the train stops at the border,” said an Austrian woman sitting across from Lori. Lori looked up at her, and seeing no other option, reluctantly handed over her precious gold star to this stranger. “I promise I will keep it safe,” the woman said, smiling. Suddenly, the train lurched to a stop and all Jews were ordered out of their carriages. With trembling knees, Lori stood and began to walk with difficulty. She did not know what was waiting for her outside the train; she was shaking with terror. She glanced back at the stranger holding her gold star, and the woman smiled at Lori, a smile that calmed her tremors, a smile that said “trust me,” a smile that Lori chose to believe.
Scattered and Reunited
Lori’s mother was the reason her entire family escaped Hitler’s reign and the fate millions of other Jews eventually suffered. Through a family connection in New York, she had managed to get to the United States when Austria’s borders were still open to Jews. Once she arrived, Irma did everything possible to get the rest of her family out of Europe. Lori’s brother, Edward, had left Austria for a farm in Rotterdam, Holland, where Zionist Jews went to learn agriculture before leaving for Palestine, the present-day Israel. Edward was planning on proceeding to Palestine after his time in Rotterdam. Irma managed to convince him to come to the United States instead and got him out of Rotterdam only days before the Nazis marched into Holland, saving his life.
Lori’s father had escaped to Shanghai with members of his extended family; Irma had decided to stay behind in Vienna at the last minute. Immediately before the internment of the Shanghai Jews, she was able to get permission from the American government allowing Pincus to immigrate to the United States. Lori never comprehended how her mother had done it, but she had finally found Lori a way out of London and into the United States. Lori had arrived in London in January 1938, when she was 13. Now, finally at 16, in November 1940, she would be reunited with her family.
Sailing to America
Every day, Lori had sent a postcard to her family in the United States telling them that she had survived the night, and now she would finally be with them. Irma had secured Lori a spot on a troop ship, the Samaria. The ship was taking sailors to Canada, then stopping at a New York City port, exactly where Lori needed to go. At the platform, Mr. Steinberg gave her a book, telling her that she should learn some of U.S. history. The book was Gone with the Wind, and it was what gave Lori her first introduction to the United States. Lori was the only female on the Samaria, and quickly befriended the sailors.
Down in her cabin, with the ship rocking back and forth over turbulent waters, Lori became deathly seasick. All alone, she truly believed she would die down there. Thankfully, some of the sailors found Lori passed out in her cabin and took her up to the deck into the fresh ocean air. After weeks of sickness and distress, the Samaria finally arrived at the New York harbor. The captain told Lori to come up to the deck at dawn, so Lori awoke at 5:00 am and made her way out into the bitter, cold morning fog. As the fog began to break, the outline of a massive figurine became visible, the Statue of Liberty. Lori looked upon this beacon of hope and freedom, and only then, she says, did she know that “the nightmare was over.”
Lori had missed the train—the train that was to take her to London, the train that was her escape out of Austria, the train that had her gold star. The conductor had been waiting for the Jews who were forced off, but the Nazi search and interrogation had caused Lori to miss it. For hours, Lori sat at the border by herself, waiting for another train, all the while thinking of her necklace. It was the last thing Lori’s father had given her, and she had lost it. Another train finally came, and after the remainder of the journey on land and the boat ride across the treacherous English Channel, Lori arrived in London. She was exhausted, dreadfully seasick, and could barely walk or talk, but she was safe. She had no idea who her host family was, what they looked like, or if they were even waiting for her at all.
Suddenly, Lori heard someone calling her name. She turned around, expecting to see a family of strange faces coming toward her, but instead, she was confronted with a familiar face. Lori could not believe her eyes. It was the woman from her train carriage. The woman held up a delicate gold chain with a solid gold Jewish star pendant dangling from it and said “I believe this belongs to you.” The woman had waited hours to return the necklace to Lori—an act of true kindness and pure selflessness. Awestruck, Lori walked toward her, and the woman carefully placed the necklace in her outstretched hand. A tear made its way down Lori’s cheek as she grasped the necklace tightly, her father’s gift, her prized possession, her gold star.
Bibliography
"Austria." United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. www.ushmm.org (accessed January 6, 2011).
Lori Shearn, interview by Eva Geisse, San Rafael CA, January 19, 2011.
Lori Shearn, interview by Eva Geisse, San Rafael CA, February 7, 2011.
Lori Shearn, interview by Eva Geisse, San Rafael CA, March 11, 2011.
Marvin Perry, Western Civilization: Ideas, Politics, and Society (Wadsworth Publishing, 2006), 630.
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