What Do Teenagers Really Want?
Adolescents have some pretty strong ideas about what they want and need from parents. Here is how more than 2000 adolescents in a recent poll described "the ten things I want most" from parents:

1. I want my parents to think I?m somebody (special).
2. I want my parents to be warm and friendly.
3. I want my parents to be more concerned about me.
4. I want my parents to know the me that nobody knows.
5. I want my parents to express my views and have those views be valued.
6. I want to go to school with kids I relate to.(Adolescents see parents as controlling this.)
7. I want to be part of a happy family.
8. I want my parents to lighten up.
9. I want to learn more about my emotions.
10. I want to live in a world at peace. (Adolescents see parents as controlling this through such acts as voting.)

What Is An Adolescent?
An adolescent is a person who:

1. Is leaving behind the stages of childhood and working through the stages of adolescence.
2. When scared or frightened, slips back into the security of being a child.
3. Is undergoing a rapid and intense period of physiological and psychological changes.
4. Wants to be independent but does not have a backlog of personal experiences to use in functioning independently in the society of which he is a part.
5. Needs to express his personal needs and to have these needs taken seriously.
6. Has not yet formed a cohesive value system that would support him in what to "live for", so this tremendously important anchor of security is not yet within his grasp.
7. Is locked into financial and emotional dependence on his family.
8. Is trying to make decisions of lasting importance about career exploration, life values, and relationships.
9. Vividly notices when there is a discrepancy between the rules and values espoused by adults and adult behavior.
10. Has the same intense emotional needs and feelings as adults but limited understanding as to what these emotions mean or how to successfully cope with them in a manner acceptable to adults.
11. Has a strong need for adult mentoring and guidance as he constructs a personal identity and tried to acquire a sense of selfhood that will sustain him.
12. Feels lonely and alone when parents are physically and emotionally absent; needs them to
    • show love and attention
    • listen and show empathy and patience
    • offer guidance and direction
    • allow experiences for positive growth through exploration
    • encourage separation and independence
    • help him cope with the crises at hand
    • model what it?s like to be an adult
13. Without adult nurturing becomes unable to construct a secure self-identity and becomes less competent to meet the challenges inevitable in daily life.
14. In the absence of effective adaptive coping skills, becomes debilitated by the ravages of stress.
15. When the family situation does not feel nurturing or supportive, has very few options and may in actuality be trapped and helpless or may turn to peers for the fulfillment of these needs.
16. Is at risk for high incidence of poor health, alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse, family violence, sexual promiscuity, alienation, and suicidal tendencies.
17. Is by law a minor.