Barbara's Story

Barbara, a 14-year-old freshman, first saw a JFCS Parents Place counselor because her parents were concerned that she might be experimenting with drugs and other delinquent behavior. Barbara, a bright, charming girl, cheerful and articulate, initially laughed off her parents' concerns, admitting that she had used some drugs in the past "just recreationally," and that she had no interest in repeating the experience. She stated firmly that she had her life under control and wished her parents would trust her.

As Barbara learned to trust her therapist, this picture changed: she gradually revealed that she had an extensive and ongoing history of drug use, that she smoked dope daily and drank heavily on weekends. Barbara gradually began allowing her therapy sessions to revolve around serious issues and feelings, and she was able to admit feeling out of control and frightened during various drug episodes. Describing her behavior seemed to force Barbara to confront her difficulties in a new way. She decided on her own to cut back drastically on the substances she was using.

She also gradually agreed to meet with her parents to discuss why she felt she couldn't be honest with them, although she firmly believed that nothing would improve. With strong encouragement and coaching, Barbara's parents were able to have the first warm and respectful conversation with their daughter that they had had in many months. Based on this encouraging meeting, Barbara developed a goal of reducing her substance use to a level that she would feel comfortable letting her parents know about, "because it's just such a hassle to have to lie and sneak all the time."

Nine months after she began therapy, Barbara and her mother both report feeling very happy with the closeness and trust that has grown in their relationship, and Barbara recently began focusing on spending more time with her father. Probably the most encouraging sign of Barbara's recovery is her increasing willingness to examine troubling issues and her interest in discussing how she might make changes. This is a far cry from lying, hiding, and taking drugs on a daily basis to avoid unpleasant feelings and situations.

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