Q.   Is it possible to praise a child too much?

We want to say things to children to acknowledge their accomplishments and help them feel good about themselves. But sometimes it feels like our words don't mean that much to them. Choosing the right words can help you praise effectively.

When verbally praising your child leave out words like good, wonderful, beautiful, the best etc... Instead of giving your judgments or opinions, say what you see. "I see you walking down the stairs and you are holding on to the rail" or "You used red and yellow in your painting". This choice of words is much more powerful and encouraging than, "WOW that's beautiful" or "you are such a good boy". It's important to be specific, giving true attention to the actions or behavior. Avoid words that make judgments about the child's self, stay focused on the actions.

If we say what we see with enthusiasm it helps the child self-reflect on her actions which nurtures self motivation and cognitive development. Over-blown praise that is all about what YOU think or like can foster the child's dependence on needing to know what you think or needing your approval to feel motivated.

Choose your words thoughtfully, be specific and address their actions. The love in your voice will convey your warm feelings even when all the terrifics, supers, and incredibles are left out.

Sylvia Ford, Early Childhood Consultant