Teaching Children Personal Safety Skills
Appropriate Expectations for 2-3 year olds

2-3 year olds need modeling more than anything else. Everything you do shows them how to be and what to copy. Some children are very trusting, some are naturally very cautious. Kids at this age are unpredictable in their reactions to different people. During this stage remember that words are supportive but actions always speak louder than words.

*Always listen to your children and keep the lines of communication open.

*Choose babysitters with care. Obtain references from family, friends and neighbors.

*Have your children fingerprinted and have recent photographs of their faces.

*Explain things simply to children, don't create a lot of gray areas with too many choices.

*If you talk to strangers a lot, you will teach your child to do the same.

*If you walk with awareness and confidence you will be teaching this to your child.

Teaching Children Personal Safety Skills
Appropriate Expectations Beginning at About Age 4

At About Age 4 we can begin to teach children many more personal safety skills. Children at this age are curious and may be naturally trusting. They also enjoy practicing their social skills and easily respond to attempts by adults to be kind or supportive. Toddlers and preschoolers do not necessarily grasp the long-term consequences of potentially dangerous situations. Their thoughts are usually in the here and now, so even though they are older than toddlers, when they are distracted they still have a hard time thinking about all the safety tips you went over with them. One of the most effective teaching tools starting at this age range is play-practicing little scenarios to allow children to get used to the pattern of actions to follow when they need to stay safe or get help. If they find themselves in a situation that feels like something they practiced at home, they will more likely recall the right things to do.

*Make sure children know their names and their parents names, addresses, phone # and how to use the phone.

*Make it a rule that children are not to go into a public restroom by themselves or go to the mall, movies, video arcades, or park alone.

*Children should first check with an adult in charge before going anywhere with anyone (a stranger OR someone they know.)

*It's best for children to have friends along when they are playing somewhere other than home.

*Talk about the difference between different levels of being a stranger. Say out loud, your thinking process about differentiating. "A stranger is someone you don't know and could look like anyone. Most people are good. This means most strangers are good, but there are reasons I don't feel safe about this situation?"

*Teach your children in whose car they may ride. Children should be cautioned never to approach any vehicle, occupied or not, unless accompanied by a parent or trusted adult.

*Be sure to go over the rules with your children about whose homes they can visit when you are not there and discuss the boundaries of where they can and can't go in the neighborhood.

*Teach your children to get out of uncomfortable or dangerous situations right away, and practice role-playing and basic safety tips with them.

Teaching Children Personal Safety Skills
Appropriate Expectations Beginning at About Age 5

At About Age 5 children begin to be more capable of understanding right from wrong. They are able to recall information and put it into practice but may get flustered in tense situations. Just like with preschoolers, play-practicing is an excellent way to really teach your children to feel comfortable about taking initiative in using their safety skills. Children at this age can usually understand that sometimes a person's bad intentions may be masked by kindness and should not immediately be interpreted as a guarantee that that person can be trusted.

*Be aware of specific ploys used by strangers. Teach children not to help strangers asking for help, like looking for lost puppies. Tell children not to accept gifts or candy, or get in a car with someone they do not know.

*Teach children not to give personal information to a stranger or to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

*Advise children that when they are on their own without a trusted adult, it is safer to be where there are other people close by to get help from if they need it.

*Tell children that it is okay to get help from strangers if an emergency is happening to them, and there is no one close by that they know.

10-15 year old children may be nonchalant in their attitude about risk. They often act like they are not afraid of anything and believe they know how to handle any situation. All the above strategies for the younger ages also apply to this age range. They may no longer be willing to play-practice with you, but they still learn a great deal from what you model, listening to your thinking process when making decisions about safety, and watching how you conduct yourself with strangers or other people you have to set limits with in your life. Around this age, parents begin to feel okay about leaving their child at home, while running a short errand for example, so it's important to go over rules about keeping the front door locked etc. when they're home alone.

*Stay safe when you're home alone by keeping the door locked. Do not open the door for or talk to anyone who stops by unless the person is a trusted family friend or relative.

Sylvia Ford, Early Childhood Consultant