• Remember that the purpose of consequences is to teach, not to punish.
• Ask yourself if the behavior you expect is developmentally reasonable. Removing a cranky two-year old with no nap from a bad situation tends to be more effective than trying to impose logical consequences.
• Make sure that the consequences you impose relate to what you are trying to teach.
• Create opportunities to practice behaviors you want to encourage. For those chronic situations - constantly being interrupted when you're on the phone, for example - a deliberately planned practice session might be just the thing.
• Become your favorite teacher - courteous, respectful, encouraging, supportive, informative and clear - when practicing new behaviors.
• Give your child choices one at a time, then act. During a temper tantrum you can say, "You can stay here if you calm down, or you can continue crying in your room." When the behavior continues, present another choice, "You can go to your room or I can take you." If there is no change, say, "I can see that you want me to take you." Gently follow through and tell the child, "You're welcome to come back when you're ready."
• Use a friendly tone of voice that communicates your good will.
• Disengage from escalating power struggles by strategically withdrawing. "I'll be in the next room when you want to talk more respectfully," presents your expectations and offers a choice all at once.
• Expect testing, but give children every opportunity to be successful.
• Engage older children in the process by asking their suggestions for logical consequences. You'll be surprised by their responses.
• Teach children how to make amends and take responsibility for their actions.
• Let children know that you believe in their capacity to make responsible decisions.

Remember that teaching children self-control takes time, attention, creativity and practice.